


Someday You're Going to Be Wrong . . .

by DaisyChainz



Series: Crackfics [6]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Gen, More odd local customs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22233940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyChainz/pseuds/DaisyChainz
Summary: Hux and Ren find themselves in yet another harrowing situation--thanks to previously unknown local customs. Hux thought he had already scared the Anthropological Research Department straight . . .
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Kylo Ren
Series: Crackfics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1393291
Comments: 7
Kudos: 21





	Someday You're Going to Be Wrong . . .

**Author's Note:**

> Absolute, utter and total crack. This is what comes from me re-watching the OT 😉

Surely now, surely after this . . . Debacle, surely then Hux could lodge a complaint with Snoke. Surely. If they even survive. 

He glared across the table at Ren, sitting silently. He looked even more uncomfortable than Hux, decked out in full armor, robes and his mask. 

Neither of them fit the space, barely fit In the space. It was torture, in and of itself. Claustrophobic. Their hostess came around the table and offered Ren a cup of tea; holding it out expectantly, insistently. Ren stared silently (Hux assumed he was staring) until Hux cleared his throat. His head jerked just enough Hux knew the stare had been shifted to him. He knew how tenuous their situation was. It was imperative they keep her happy. 

"Ren." He prompted sternly, quickly turning a bright, fake smile to their hostess. 

With a hiss from the vocoder Ren took the tea. It was beyond ridiculously small in his hand, he could only use his thumb and index finger to hold it. Hux would have struggled not to laugh if he wasn't starting to sweat from the pressure. He turned his attention to their hostess, now offering him his tea. He pretended to take a sip. "Delicious." He offered with what he hoped wasn't too murderous of a look. He glared over at Ren.

"Wonderful," their hostess gushed. "I'll bring you some tea biscuits. Be right back!" She breezed out, followed by two of the guards. Two more stood over near the door, hopefully out of earshot. 

"This is not at all what you led me to expect, Ren." He hissed over the table.

Ren, still holding the ridiculous tiny tea cup, huffed. "I had a vision we would be tested by torture before the negotiations could be concluded. You don't find this torture?"

Looking around the room, everything shrunk too small, threatening to strangle him. Hux snorted. "I made arrangements, Ren." He put a snarling emphasis on Ren. "Protections in case we were threatened bodily in any way." He paused, spoke more guardedly, "I admit, I had not taken psychological torture into consideration."

Ren snorted through the vocoder. "Bodily torture would certainly be preferable."

A flush crossed Hux's cheeks. "I knew the Asortins love family above all else, but this is ridiculous. Most ridiculous how they won't make a decision in our favor unless we keep their child happy. You had better not make her cry Ren. We need this deal to go through."

Both their heads swiveled back to the door as it opened and their tiny torturer reentered with her guards. She was indeed carry a tiny tray of cookies. 

Without looking at him, Ren said "you did say you wanted to be around when I made a mistake . . ."

Pulling his knees more tightly into his chest in the child-sized chair, Hux frowned. "I take it back."

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't originally meant to be a companion piece to "Negotiations", but reading them together could be entertaining . . .
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/17626919


End file.
